I Hate You--don't Leave Me: Understanding The B... Apr 2026

upport: Expressing personal concern through "I" statements.

I Hate You—Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality , by Dr. Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus, is a seminal guide to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that explores the condition’s roots, symptoms, and treatment options. First published in 1989 and now in its third edition as of 2021, the book has shaped the public’s understanding of BPD by popularizing the "I hate you—don’t leave me" paradox of attachment. Key Themes and Concepts I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Understanding the B...

While widely respected as a foundational text, the book has faced criticism over time: upport: Expressing personal concern through "I" statements

: A primary defense mechanism where individuals perceive others as either all good (idealization) or all bad (devaluation), often triggered by minor interactions. Kreisman and Hal Straus, is a seminal guide

The authors propose the system to help loved ones communicate more effectively with individuals with BPD: